Jonese's Story: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

International Women's Day falls on 8th March each year. To mark it, we gathered the stories of seven women peacebuilders from our global network.

Name: Deirdre Jonese Austin
Location: Atlanta, USA
Religion: Christian (Baptist)
Programme: Rose Castle Odyssey Fellows Retreat 2022

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

If I could define my time and experience at the Rose Castle Foundation and Odyssey Impact retreat that was supported by the E. Rhodes and Leona B. Carpenter foundation with one phrase, it would be reaching across the divide. That was the topic that one of the leaders, Michael Gibbs, who works with Different Tracks Global, had us reflect on during a Quaker circle toward the end of our time there. When we weren’t exploring the Castle, the land beyond the Castle, and the Lake District, we spent our time learning about conflict, specifically as it relates to the Iceberg model, learning how to do trauma-informed work in our contexts, developing and strengthening our skills for facilitating and mediating across lines of difference, and discussing and reflecting on the ways in which the 12 Habits of a Reconciler can be applied to our work.

When I first heard about the opportunity to attend the retreat, I was unsure of what I’d hope to get out of it. I don’t think of my work as that concerning reconciliation but as that more focused on healing, justice, wholeness, and liberation. Reflecting now, I think much of it has to do with how reconciliation work has come to be interpreted by Christians in the United States context. Often the discourse of reconciliation centers racial reconciliation or reconciliation across political divides. As a Black woman, I recognize the importance of reconciliation work around race and politics, but that is not my calling. Thus, the question I continued to reflect on throughout the retreat was: How can this be applied to my work and context?

I believe now that I’ve found the answer. I am currently completing my Master of Divinity program at Candler School of Theology at Emory University in Atlanta, GA with certificates in Black Church Studies and Baptist Studies. Soon, I will be pursuing ordination in American Baptist Churches USA. In the fall of 2022, I will begin a PhD program in either religion or anthropology with the goal of exploring how Black Christian women come to understand their bodies and sexuality through dance in sacred and secular contexts through a womanist lens. The divide I am reaching across is a theological one, and the work of reconciliation is that of being reconciled to oneself, to God, and to one another. In a context where purity culture invokes shame and at times, religious trauma, the work that I hope to do entails working to bring Black Christian women back in alignment spiritually, physically, and emotionally in a way that allows them to love, embrace, and affirm their bodies, sensuality, and sexuality as that which is fearfully and wonderfully made. It is being reconciled to a God who loves all of us and wants us to experience freedom and liberation as well as pleasure and joy. I intend to do this work in both religious spaces, academic contexts, and in the broader community through work with nonprofits.

Programme session in the Peace Library, Rose Castle.

Considering my context and the work that I desire to do, I can reflect on the ways in which conflict might arise as we work to unlearn a theology of shame and even as we work to develop our own unique theologies that affirm our bodies and sexuality as it relates to our relationship with God. Given that not all will come to the same understanding and recognizing the Baptist values of freedom of conscious and the priesthood of believers, I will need facilitation and mediation skills to help us come to understand each other and be reconciled to one another. Furthermore, I can reflect on the role of religious trauma in interactions and conversations as we work toward healing and wholeness. Lastly, I can turn to the 12 Habits of a Reconciler. My work begins with a lament for the ways in which the Church’s teachings on bodies and sexuality have caused harm and at times alienated people from their bodies. I invite people into a process of forgiving ourselves and forgiving those who have harmed us. I will strive to work in a spirit of hospitality, welcoming and inviting all into conversation and into a process of change. My work is rooted in creativity and coming to know and understand ourselves through dance. We show empathy in the sharing of stories and vulnerability in being willing and able to share. I will work to remain humble in the work, recognizing the role of my training and education in getting me to where I am and remembering where I began this work. I will be generous, sharing knowledge as I learn with those I’m in community with. We sit in gratitude of the goodness that can be found in our bodies. I will remain curious and continue to ask questions that lead us toward transformation and a better future for all. In doing the work, I will need to be a good steward of my time, resources, and passions, pursuing “the work [my] soul must have.” Lastly, I lean into a vision of hope and a future where people can embrace theologies that are freeing and can come to love, affirm, and appreciate all of who we are.

Odyssey Impact Fellows 2022.