Arwa's Story: Don't lose sight of the change you can make every day

International Women's Day falls on 8th March each year. To mark it, we gathered the stories of seven women peacebuilders from our global network.

Name: Arwa Ahmed Qandeel
Location: Egypt
Religion: Muslim
Programme: Emerging Peacemakers Forum 2018

Don't lose sight of the change you can make every day

Years ago, when we were kids at school, we were always taught the story of the Lion and Three Oxen and how important the power of the pack is. Therefore, in times where women are fighting for equality, it is expected from women to support each other, but what if the support came from not so womanly source? This is my story, how a “Man”, my father, was my tower of strength.

In order to help you get the full picture, let me tell you more how I was raised. I was raised by a man who always stood by the helpless. He was no “Suits” lawyer, yet he was a more realistic and lovable one. It was because of him that I dreamt of becoming an advocate for truth and justice. Something, that he was, that he pursued no matter how small the impact. He sent me to camps all over Egypt and taught me how to build networks with so many different people, for he believed that at the end of the day the “Human” inside each of us is what truly matters. I remember that I was only seventeen when he supported me to participate in a program to educate the illiterate in a place that most of my relatives told him not to send me to. I remember how he seized every opportunity to help me learn and grow, that he never thought that as a woman I should have boundaries or limits for my own abilities. That is why when I was chosen by Al-Azhar to participate in the Emerging Peacemakers Forum, co-organized by the Rose Castle Foundation- in Cambridge, he was extremely delighted. I will never forget the look of pride and joy in his eyes.

Participating in the Emerging Peacemakers Forum was like a dream come true. It was the achievement we both worked for. I knew about it from Facebook and never thought I would be accepted. Am I finally going to be able to show a picture of a Hijabi Muslim Arab different from stereotypes? Am I going to do good for the cause I believe in? Am I even a good fit? Surprisingly, only a week prior to the program, I faced a visa problem. I even was the only participant who faced a similar problem. I was told by the organizers that if I was unable to apply in the given time – 2 days-, they will choose someone else. I made some phone calls to figure out the problem and tried to keep a brave face till I broke down in tears by the end of day while I was praying. I cried in his arms and said: “I really wanted to do something good; I swear, I did not want to do it for myself”. He calmly told me: “if you really mean what you say, so trust Allah’s plan, this is a test and a reminder.” He cancelled his plans and drove me the next morning to the visa office and we found out that it was only a technical problem that was fixed in only 15 minutes.

On the other hand, the program experience was really life-changing. It helped me discover hidden parts in myself that I never knew existed. I met people from different faiths and different cultures and we managed, only in ten days, to shift from strangers into a family. However, when I came back to Egypt, I had the idea that such a great experience requires a massive reaction. I thought that I needed to come up with a great initiative to apply what I have learned yet life happened. I had to relocate with my husband to a different country where I thought I will be returning to square one. Luckily, only one day after I arrived in Saudi Arabia, we had a cohort online meeting where surprisingly, when my friends were expressing their great plans and ideas after the program, one of our mentors said: “don’t lose sight of the change you can make every day”; something that rang a bell to a reality I lived but never really paid attention to. A life approach that my father lived by and that made me how I am. It really struck me and became a motto I follow mostly all the time. I followed it when I worked in a school with kids where I tried to help them find peace in a place they come to every day. I followed it when I came back to Egypt and became a teaching assistant in a college. I even follow it now with my 18 months daughter. My mission became how to help people around me, in such challenging time, live a peaceful and stress-free life. How my tiniest actions can help in changing someone’s life.

Arwa (front, centre) with the Emerging Peacemakers Forum 2018 cohort.

On International Women’s Day, “I shall be telling this with a sigh, Somewhere ages and ages hence”, in a day where people celebrate women’s achievements, I shall be taking a road “less traveled by”. I shall be celebrating my late father and fathers all around the world that value their daughters and sincerely believe that they are not lesser human beings. That they can go over and beyond. So, if I achieved anything in this life, I was supported by an extraordinary family and a loving father who deserve all the credit. “ And that has made all the difference.”